Reclaimed... Still!

This week I have reclaimed something in a big way.

After months of anxiety, doubting what I believe and questioning my self, I am finally feeling okay.
About all of those things.

I've also realised some things about myself and about God.

I've realised that I am likeable, friendly, warm and made in the image of God.
I've realised that I am loved by God.
I've realised that I don't have to earn God's grace - He gave it freely through Jesus.
I've realised that I don't have to take on board what other people think of me.
I've realised that I am not under law, but under grace.
I've realised how blessed and loved I am by people around me.

Some of these things I've realised for the first time, others I have realised afresh and in a new and real way.

The Impossible Made Possible

I've been listening to the Bethel Music album Tides, and there are so many great songs!
One that I have in my head and that I'm listening to over and over is 'Ascend', by William Matthews.

'We will ascend the hill of The Lord
And we will declare His holy word
With clean hands and pure hearts
With clean hands and pure hearts
We will see God

When we see Him we'll be like Him
Face to face we'll know what love is'

As I was listening to these words, I remembered Psalm 24:3&4

"Who may ascend the mountain of The Lord?
Who may stand in His holy place?
The one who has clean hands and a pure heart..."

Remembering this, and then hearing the lyrics of 'Ascend', where it says:
WE WILL ascend the hill of The Lord...

And I thought about what, or rather, who, made the difference.
JESUS!

He changes the question into a statement.
He takes the uncertainty and makes it certain.
He takes the impossible and makes it possible.

It's because of Jesus that we can ascend the hill of The Lord.
His redeeming work that gives us clean hands and a pure heart.
Because of Him standing in our place, tearing the veil, so that we can see God.

Praise His Holy Name!
Thankyou Jesus for making a way!

Because I Am His!

I've always been a person who looks to other people for approval.
To know whether what I'm doing, saying and being is okay. Acceptable. Enough.
I'm sure many people can identify with me in this.
Caring about what other people think too much.

I've come to realise, though, that I don't need to live my life this way.
I don't have to wonder if I'm okay, if I'm enough by the worlds standards.
I don't have to filter my thoughts, feelings, and actions each minute to make sure I am acceptable to other people.

I can still be careful what I say and how I act towards others, but that is not to look for approval, but to treat people kindly.

The reason I can be confident in who I am and not have to constantly seek the approval of others is because of JESUS.
Because I am His.
He is my Saviour.
He loves me, and died for me.
So I don't have to be endlessly grasping for love, for worthiness, for approval, or striving to be enough.

Through my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, I am enough.
He has made me worthy.

All that would tell me I am not enough and all that would tell me I am not okay has been conquered, has been broken and dealt with, and I do not have to listen to it.

And I've leant that there will still be those voices. The ones that try to condemn, that try to destroy and tear down.

But I don't have to agree with them. I can choose to agree, instead, with what God says about me, and what I know about my Jesus, and what He has done for me.

"In all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us"
Romans 8:37

"...because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world"
1 John 4:4

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." Romans 12:2

"So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For The Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you."
Deuteronomy 31:6

The Beginning & The End

As we near Christmas, I reflect upon what it means to me

Of course, it means a baby, a newborn
So human, a little bundle of joy

And I think of any child, and the hopes and dreams carried by the mother and father
What will he/she be when they grow
Hoping they'll do a good job and not mess up

I think of Mary, what she knew, the things she tucked away and pondered in her heart
Of Joseph, and the weight of responsibility felt

Of Jesus, growing and learning in the things of His Father

And I can't think of the newborn baby Jesus without thinking of what I know followed in the years to come
All that He became
All that He is

I think of a mother's heart broken at the cries of a son who was dying for all, yes, including her

Of a Father having to turn His face away from the sin upon His son, knowing that is why He sent Him to earth as a baby boy in the first place

To me, the start of the story isn't whole without the acknowledgement in my heart of the story's end...

...which was truly just the beginning.... But that's another blog post....

Truth and ?

For a long time now, I have struggled with the term "truth and grace"

It seems a lot of things have been said to me and others that have been described as speaking the truth in love, or speaking with truth and grace on a matter.

I've since realised that a lot of this was actually bullying, and the reason I didn't feel the grace part of the equation is because it didn't exist. There was no grace, only "truth".

And so, I hear the term "truth and grace" and "speaking the truth in love" and I bristle.

I think if you're speaking with truth and grace to someone, you shouldn't have to tell them that you are, it should be obvious.

Obvious because of the genuine love, because of the connection you have with that person, and because there is evidence that they are speaking with truth and grace because they have a relationship with the only one who has ever really exuded truth and grace, Jesus.

So with the words we speak, with the way we live our lives, are we truly showing truth and grace, the way Jesus showed it or is it a human version where it covers up our attempts to judge others and enforce rules and religion on them?

Hard questions, perhaps?

Maybe it hurts a bit, because we've either been the one who has tried using the human version, or maybe it's been us who's done the false truth and grace wielding.

Either way, I wonder what Jesus would like us to do.

I'm thinking His answer might involve something regarding specks and logs and eyes, and lots and lots of loving others and humbly walking with them on their journey.

The "Be" Series...

I have an app on my phone called "Word" and its a daily devotional.
A the moment it's a "Be" series, and I've been blown away the last few days at how it is speaking to me and coinciding with words spoken over me and things I am working through in my journey.
I've journaled briefly what each day has spoken the most to me about, and I thought I would share, because I thought it might be a blessing to others as well. It counts down backwards, because, well, that's the way I started it and I couldn't be bothers typing it all out again in order ;-)
Many blessings!!

Word app
Be series

Day 8 - Be Hopeful
Heb 6:19
Hope in Jesus... Compels us to love deeper, be patient longer and to live with expectancy...
fear and hurt do the opposite work of hope...that's why Jesus says He comes to make "all things new". Old, worn out, broken down and given- up on things.

Day 7 - be generous
Luke 6:38
Much blessing in being a blessing
It'll transform you from the inside out and ultimately bring blessing back to you

-----people who go to Ballarat Community Church - this was yesterday's, and remember what the sermon was about?! Wow!----------

Day 6- be strong
Deuteronomy 31:6
Don't get caught up in being strong on your own
Paul says in Cor 12 " it's in my weakness He is made strong"

Day 5- be forgiving
Eph 4:32
Choose today to let go of the pain of past situations and relationships

Day 4- be happy
1 Thes 5:16
That's why this verse says, "always rejoice"- its saying that the decision lies with you

Day 3- be bold
Eph 6:19
This is not a heavy have to thing but its a this is what should flow from your heart if you love me thing.
Listen to the spirit and fight against the voice of fear.

This verse was amazing to me after a friend spoke pretty much the same thing over me the night before! God is so good!

Day 2- be thankful
Eph 5:20
Comparison is damaging and undermines the uniqueness in which God has created each of us.
One of the most transformational concepts within the bible is thankfulness.

Day 1- be still
Psalm 46:10
Elijah hears God as a still small voice (1 Kings 19)
Finding a quiet moment where you say nothing and you give God room to speak to you.

The Ordinary Extraordinary

It's a lot easier to talk about the big issues in the world and in other people's lives than to live and walk in the everyday of our own lives.

The mundane, daily tasks, and the thoughts and to do lists we are dealing with right now can seem overwhelming, and not exciting enough.

Maybe we are living in the past, and wishing things were how they used to be.
Remembering makes us wish we were back there. But we can't change that.
Seasons change, we move on and so do other people. Life keeps moving.

Maybe we think everything will be better in the future, when we're married, we've had children, we have this qualification, we've got more money, etc...
But we're looking so far ahead, we're not really living and doing the things we need to at this moment. Not really present, not really participating in life.

Each day we wake up with hours in front of us ready to be filled.
With the daily tasks; with housework, phone calls, paying bills, feeding families, driving from here to there and back, and on and on...
It can seem that nothing of worth is being done.

Looking back, we wonder if we said anything lasting, anything that will make a difference tomorrow. Did my family feel loved, important, their needs met and satisfied?
Did I get anything done that will still be done tomorrow?
Was there any point to my day?

Then I read that Jesus walked and talked with normal, everyday people.
He ate with them, sat with them, lived amongst them.
He broke bread, and participated in the seemingly mundane of life, just like us.
He heard people, really heard them.
He came down to our world.

He showed us that as we live and work together, as we go about our daily business, we can leave footprints that make a difference.
A word here, a smile there, a touch of the hand.
A meal shared, a drink offered.

It's all normal, daily routine.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
But it is in the words, the smiles, the touches, the meals and the thirsts quenched that we share life.
And sharing life with each other is the ultimate way to show how much we love and care, isn't it?

Jesus shared life with ordinary people here on earth.
His words, His touch, His broken bread, His life poured out.

And so the mundane and everyday becomes a life giving, life changing gift.
In the small and ordinary, we find the big and extraordinary.

When Faith Is Not As Solid As It Is Fluid

I used to think of faith as something solid, unmoving and never changing, and that through the ups and downs and mistakes of my life I was either holding on to it, or letting go of it.
It was something I could walk away from, or cling to, but not something that was within me, a part of me.
My experience of faith has changed my thoughts and understanding of it.
I don't think faith is so much solid as it is fluid.
Something that is not a separate entity to me, but a part of me, it moves with me, growing and changing as I do.
I don't cling to it, but rather it is a permanent part of me, as much a part of me as the breath moving in and out of my body.
Sometimes it seems so small, like I barely notice it's presence, but I've learnt that it is still always there, flowing and growing and becoming, with me on my journey.