I've been through a time of searching, after experiencing anxiety with my third child, a beautiful girl.
As I felt the grip of fear and anxiety in my life, I felt like I was losing control, losing who I am, like I didn't know what was real and true about God or anything else.
I've always loved to write, to read, but I struggled with the things that usually came easily to me, the things that made me feel alive and made me feel like I could be me.
Some days I still struggle with the anxiety, the shakiness, the worrying, but I feel like I'm coming to the other side of it.
In all of this I've learnt that God is real, in every season.
Where I live in Australia, it is the beginning of winter, and I've always loved this time of year.
Not a lot of life is seen on the outside, but on the inside, there is preparation happening. New life is getting ready to spring forth!
I like to call it the season of the soul.
This is what I feel I have been through in my journey, a season of sorting and sifting, of recycling, giving away and reclaiming.
Letting go of the things that have brought me down, stopping the things I think or say that leave me in fear and anxiety.
Reclaiming the positive things I believe and know about life, about God.
In the middle of all this, I feel like I am able to reclaim joy, peace and the enjoyment of doing life with the 'IF' in the middle.
Because I know that God is a God of new beginnings, and that through the messiness of life, in the small and big things that may come at us, His love and grace is big enough to stand on.
"The Lord is my light and my salvation - whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life - of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1
Tuesday 4 June 2013
Season of the Soul
June has begun, and for me it is a wonderful time of year.
It means scarves, hot tea and coffee, chicken and veggie soup, hearty casseroles, and curling up with a good book and a blanket.
Winter is often described as a cold, bare and melancholy season.
New life is yet to come forth in the following spring.
As if life and growth has stopped... on the outside.
But on the inside... where we can't see... life goes on, preparation is happening.
It is the season of the soul for me, reflecting on what's happening in my life, the growth I have gone through and need to go through on the inside.
Not cold or bare, but ready to burst with new life, after reflection, and yes, maybe some melancholy moments.
So I'm not yearning for spring, or looking forward to the end of this beautiful season.
I want to face it, enjoy it, do life through it.
There is a real, raw beauty in this season.
Both the physical season of winter, and the inner season of the soul.
Thanking God for His wisdom and love and grace through each and every season of life.
Blessings xxx
It means scarves, hot tea and coffee, chicken and veggie soup, hearty casseroles, and curling up with a good book and a blanket.
Winter is often described as a cold, bare and melancholy season.
New life is yet to come forth in the following spring.
As if life and growth has stopped... on the outside.
But on the inside... where we can't see... life goes on, preparation is happening.
It is the season of the soul for me, reflecting on what's happening in my life, the growth I have gone through and need to go through on the inside.
Not cold or bare, but ready to burst with new life, after reflection, and yes, maybe some melancholy moments.
So I'm not yearning for spring, or looking forward to the end of this beautiful season.
I want to face it, enjoy it, do life through it.
There is a real, raw beauty in this season.
Both the physical season of winter, and the inner season of the soul.
Thanking God for His wisdom and love and grace through each and every season of life.
Blessings xxx
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